Peace

Two days ago, while laying in bed, I had somewhat of a panic attack...

Realizing that I was going to be away from my home--far away from my home--for a full two months...that I was giving up an internship. I had talked about the trip that it almost seemed like that's all it would ever be: just talk. But two days ago, I lay in bed, eyes wide open, staring up at the ceiling and breathing heavily. Realizing that this was no longer talk about some distant trip after finals and all that stuff---because two days ago, I realized I had only two more nights in my bed at home.

The ceiling fan continued making noise, my little brother lay next to me breathing, the television in the other room playing, the dog walking around...there was too much noise and I couldn't handle it with all of my thoughts. 

So I turned on my phone, plugged in my headphones and listened to the sounds of a rain storm, attempting to break out all the other noise, and more out of mental exhaustion than self will, I fell asleep.

And now here I lay in a small bed in Nicaragua...thunder, rain, lightning going absolutely insane outside. I'm alone in a dark room, and I'm far from home.

But there are no feelings of anxiety, no feelings of despair, exhaustion, doubt. 

There is just peace, and I know that I am where I am supposed to be.

Thank you for your prayers.